I’ve often joked that if I ever became pregnant, it would be the second coming of Jesus. And though I feel a lot like Mary…I’m not pregnant so evil is safe for today. Then, what is this image that clearly depicts a child in utero?
After reviewing my complete blood count, my doctor ordered a TV ultrasound, to hopefully locate the source of what she believes is a slow internal blood leak. I had this procedure done about 5 years ago, for the same reason, but was never offered images from the ultrasound, or a conclusive diagnosis. I mean, I feel fine, what’s the big deal right?
To paraphrase my doctor, “imagine how you would feel if your levels were good, you’d probably turn into super woman or something” I was shook. First of all, my doctor was confused; I’m already super woman. But seriously, how WOULD it feel, to have a normal white blood cell, iron, and hemoglobin count? These issues have plagued me all my life as far as I know, and it affects millions of other women right? I hope to have an answer soon.
As a woman of color, my doctor inspired me to take charge of my health by trying to get to the root of the problem. At the ultrasound, I felt comfort knowing my radiologist Evelyn, and her surprise intern Ann, were also women of color. I told them about my past experience with the ultrasound and asked them to do a good job, I also requested a copy of the images. We talked about how important it is for women of color to check up on their health and the generational trauma that has been passed down through our bodies, especially in our wombs.
I think it’s safe to say that most women couldn’t pick their uterus out of a line up, let alone tell you what’s going on in there. I’m still waiting to go over the results with my doctor, but I found the images to be fascinating and profound. I saw faces, spirits, symbols, when flipping through all 86 of them, I could even see my pulse beating.
Who are these people in my uterus I thought! Are these my past lives? My ancestors? Ghosts? Future Generations? A spirit fused with mine as my yoga instructor suggested? All of the above? It was then that I realized that I was witnessing so much magic. Our wombs are a portal, a true gateway into another realm.
No wonder the powers that be try to control it so much. Sickening.
Historically black women have been forced to disassociate from their bodies. As a result, our health, on every level, continues to suffer dramatically compared to our counterparts. And we’re still doing more than our share of the work. To be face to face with the most intimate part of you, is really astounding, with so many messages that only we can decipher for ourselves.
I do believe physical ailments can be extensions of our emotional and spiritual health. While i’m still trying to decode what my body is telling me, I hope that we all can begin to take our health into our hands, especially black women and other WOC. Get to know your body, love and nourish yourself. As we come together this holiday season, encourage your people to do the same. Our future depends on it!
This Christmas, I give thanks for Women of Color in the medical field. Thank you so much for your service. A special shout out to Jeninne and Mia for quelling my anxiety around my results.
Wishing you all a happy, HEALTHY, Christmas, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah and days leading into 2018 and beyond.