And by it I mean, stay in bed for 12+ hours and all but completely withdraw from social interaction.
On the plus side, I channelled energy into what I’ve been intending to do for a while: step away from social media platforms, and start posting to my own website. I officially deleted my facebook profile in December after 15+ years! It was a process that took about 3 years, for anyone wondering. I’m relieved to have gotten out before the insurrection and all the chaos that started the year. The first half of 2021 has been so intense. My whole life truly unraveled, and it was a really destabilizing experience. The compounded grief, trauma, and loss is really taking its toll. My brain has only now started to work again. Living through a global pandemic and experiencing so many personal upheavals have marked a period of exponential emotional growth, and started a new life chapter with a big interrobang ?!
What that looks liked differs on a day to day basis, but overall it’s meant a lot of time spent alone, a relatively new experience for me. Most people tend to think of me as an ultra social person and might find this news concerning, but I feel at this point no one should be surprised that I really enjoy and prefer my own company. Even still, I dreadfully miss my cats, but I’m trying to view this as an opportunity to learn who I am without cats. It’s also been about 15 years, plus I’ll get to travel more freely.
It’s been almost a year and a half of working from home, pretty much non stop, and I know I’m not alone when I say I need a freaking break! Just ask Naomi Osaka. Gratefully, I’m able to take a few trips this summer and my new job was so generous to give us a “snow” week for the 4th. It just reaffirms that I made the right decision leaving Dreamworks.
I also started a podcast with my friend Rosie who I recently visited in Chicago. It’s called F*** What U Heard, It’s What U Hearing. Our first episode was about Juneteeth becoming a national holiday. It is available on Spotify and Anchor FM. Our next episode is about Pride so stay tuned for that!
Those of you that know the extent of things going on in my personal life have been asking how I’ve been able to handle everything going on so well. My response is somewhere between am I handling it well? LOL and it’s amazing what we’re capable of when we have no choice. I am so fortunate to have developed various tools and self care methods over the past decade to keep me grounded during the most trying times; not to mention the support from my close friends and loved ones. At the end of the day my abundance of faith is what sees me through. Thank you Jupiter retrograde in Pisces in my second house. I often see opportunities where others find none. My ancestors, angels, and guides are with me every step of the way and I truly thank God. I keep coming back to it, and thinking about it, I want to start witnessing more. I often imagine the many ways my ministry will assume form: music, writing, film, tarot, teaching, etc. There are so many things I have left to say and do. I’m really just getting started. Power On.
I know many people don’t believe in God, and a lot of folks are traumatized by religion. I am blessed because this was never the case for me. I was given the freedom to seek God on my own, and tend to borrow from a wide variety of faiths. When I look at my life, I don’t understand how anyone doesn’t believe, but I also understand that it is hard. Our concept of God is skewed and corrupted under white supremacist capitalist patriarchy. So many of us are in crisis. I pray that we all can be open to the many ways spirit manifests. My goal is for my life to be my testimony. God is good, all the time. All the time, God is good. Ase. Namaste.